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The other day, at a Fashion Week party, my friend Alan and I stood against a wall, scanning the room for hot people, as you do.

It never bothered me when we were alone, but as things got more serious, I began to feel nervous about introducing him to my friends.

I hated myself for having such superficial impulses, but I couldn’t help it: I want to be able to show my partners off to the world for both what they do how they look. In the past, when a friend has introduced me to a new partner who’s superhot, but clearly an idiot, I’ve judged them for it.

“Lately, in order to want to sleep with someone, I actually have to them as a person.” He said this as if it were a mind-blowing revelation.

Or perhaps we become more acutely aware of the impermanence of beauty after experiencing our own signs of aging?

Or, more simply, have we just realized that dating freakishly beautiful people isn’t all it's cracked up to be?

Case in point: A couple years ago, I dated a writer whose work I really admired—he was kind and intelligent, we got along wonderfully, and the sex was good, too.

However, he was bald and a little shorter than me, and ultimately just not that hot.

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