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Landers' replacement, the fabulous Amy Dickinson, keeps up her predecessor's tradition of brevity and wit in her daily column.

I'm such an "Ask Amy" fan I turn to her page after glancing at the headlines (just to make sure we'll be around long enough for advice to be useful).

Let him know, too, if there is any more extramarital activity, you're giving him the heave-ho. LANDERS: Two months ago, I met a man who seems very fond of me. I have a sneaking suspicion that your back-door Romeo has a wife and a family, plus several other very good "customers." You'd better forget about him and suggest that he leave whatever it is that he is delivering in a convenient place.

He has two jobs, which is the reason he has never called me up on the phone or taken me out. He says he cares for me a great deal, but I see him only once a day when he delivers food at my home. He ought to stick to his commission as the "bonus" for his sales. LANDERS: I am a girl of 14, and I like a certain boy and am sure he likes me, but when it comes time to meet, he gets scared and backs out.

She addressed extravagantly personal topics I didn't even know existed.

In terms of predicting the future, she was way better than horoscopes. 4, 1979, a letter discussing the vulnerability of young women to seduction insisted that, "Empty promises and sweet talk are the most effective tools of destruction." A friend mailed me the clipping; I was living in London.

LANDERS: I've always regarded most marital mix-ups as very humorous -- until now, that is, when the noose is tightening around my own neck. I like auto racing, but my wife has no interest in it, so I've always gone without her.

One of my recent favorites was Amy's answer to a woman who, after a calamitous divorce, wanted to know what she might expect when meeting the "happily married" old boyfriend who got back in touch as soon as he heard she was single. So let me take a pass at yours: He: 'I'm miserable. I think about you all the time.' You: 'Check, please.' And … When asked by a woman still having an affair with a colleague a few weeks before his wedding whether she was the "right" woman or the "other" woman, E.

scene."The other advice giver I see as a sort of modern I-Ching is E. Jean; since 1993, she's been using her words as whips and crops. Jean cuts deliberation short by explaining "Alas, you're neither the 'right woman' nor the 'other woman.' You're the sucker."And while the rest of us might be amateurs, we nevertheless have our signature pieces.

You are flirting with a muddy track on Black Friday, and the way you're headed, you will get exactly what you deserve. LANDERS: I have just graduated from grade school, and the boy I like is in the Army. V.: If you "just graduated from grade school," you are about 13 years old, Chicken. My husband has been chasing around town with women for the past seven months.

He has written that he will be home on leave soon, but my mother forbids me to see him. When I told him that I was getting a separation, he promised to change his ways and behave himself.




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